The guy from Jurassic Park, the one with the cowboy hat.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Yesterday, but you should see the other guy.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's untidyness occasionally transcends the boundries of modern lettering and transforms into a form of hieroglyphics thought lost to mankind up until that foolish wench of a 1st grade teacher made the mistake of teaching me my ABC's. SOON THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE TEACHINGS OF THE $&^%(_L@#!!!!!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Pickled mole rat, but I'm partial to Llama
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Sometimes I make "them" call me daddy...
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Now that's just silly, I'd have nothing bloody new to say to myself would I?
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I use the truth on secretive-personal-opposit
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yup, I have named them Jerome and Greg, they tap-dance.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Am I the only one getting annoyed by the way the quizz shouts at me all the bloody time?
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
STFU-O's YOU SHOULD TRY EM SOMETIME!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Heck I don't even untie 'em to put em back on if I can help it.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
That one with the two guys.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
My overwhelming desire to ask them these EXACT 50 QUESTIONS AT EXACTLY THIS VOLUME!
15. RED OR PINK?
I feel my options are somewhat restricted beyond my tolerance here.
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I lack the resolution to do anything with my life except answer smelly quizzes such as this and murder hobos.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
I want everyone on this earth to burn and die for allowing such a travesty as this quizz to come into existance, but I guess forcing everyone to answer it should be a close second.
19. WHAT PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The voices in my head begging me to follow the tuxedo'd leprechaun to the land of the peanut brittle where I may find the sacred herpes medication.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
The kind that causes massive gastric hemorraging in the f*cker who turned me into a bloody crayon upon seeing me.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Money with blood on it (and that's the only honest answer I'll give)
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Nice enough chap, seemed a bit pessimistic though, awful hung up on something happening in 7 days though. I wasn't really paying attention, "The Lab" was on.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
No-one bloody sent it to me, I'm answering this out of my own free will as is the only way for this thing to work as far as I know. If you want to publish crap, at least learn its bloody format.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
THAT ONE WITH THE TWO GUYS....So table tennis or martial arts I guess.
27. HAIR COLOR?
I believe my profile covers this sort of question but if you're interested in my ideal hair colour I'd refer you to 22, but replace the word "f*cker" with "Extended family and Geese"
28. EYE COLOR?
As described in 27, but with a dash of royal purple, for flavor.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
My optometrist has insisted that contacts are the tools of satan used to chisel his teachings onto our cornea's, though I suspect the price difference between contacts and regular specs plays into it.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
I know for a fact that I've answered more specific versions of this question 5 times already. You are clearly treading water here, Bucko McQuizzwriterson
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Well I feel that I don't show any particular preference to either genre in the general sense but I feel that it must be said for Ha-THE ONE WITH THE TWO GUYS!!!!!!!!!
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Richard Simmons' adventures in Boy's Town: A tale of loss, hope and courage in the face of constant butt-sex. 4 STARS OUT OF 5!
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to come up with sarcastic answers to every one of these god-forsaken menial questions? DO YOU!?
34. Summer or winter?
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
THE ONE WITH THE TWO...oh right, um, I dunno. Going to go do manly stuff now, yeah...
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Greg, he was always the talkative one.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
My sense of dignity, but that's to be expected as he buggered of to the Bahamas years ago.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
THA- Oh screw it, Burmese Days by George Orwell, happy now you persistent text based demon you?
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A small birthmark and a couple of leftover hairs.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
A taped recording of the brutal execution of that one pet your parents said had run away.
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
The sound of a pick-axe being embedded in the skull of a dust mite, ya need some heavy machinery to catch it but hoo-boy does it satisfy!
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Home is where the heart is, I suspect therefore that I since am currently over 5 light-years away from the nearest black hole, I'm sitting on my record.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Making people want to murder me due to my actions in 14
46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
In my house's downstairs bathroom, no jokes.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Not so much the answers themselves as the methods I'll use to extract them.
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Oi, I signed up for 50 questions, If you're going to be shirk your unholy responsibilities to go for the full deal then I'm afraid I'll feel compelled to begin the answer to 47 immediately.
Well I hope you've all learned some valuable things about me today. I just hope you're good at dealing with regret.